Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
