So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
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