You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
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