I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
The cops high fived after they tackled you
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
