i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
