i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
