Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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