I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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