i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
