No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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