I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
