You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
