So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I cut my penus on the lid.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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