Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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