I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
