I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
