3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
