??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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