Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
