just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
