I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Someone stole a lamp last night.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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