I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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