I'm drive I can fine osifer
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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