Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
i now understand why vodka
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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