so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
