I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
