She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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