He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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