You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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