Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
