i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I need water and some morals
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Your penis caused this!
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