also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Randomize
