things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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