69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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