and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
