A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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