he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
