So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I could fuck to npr.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
