quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
