I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
so much tequila, so little girl.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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