How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just gift wrapped bread.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize
