Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
