it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
ok first of all what the fuck
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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