Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You ate ashes out of my bong
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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