Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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