We won't sleep together?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
