Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
