Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Please don't give away my fajitas
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
