you guys were way drunker than both of me
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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