I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
