It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I had to cum in my sink.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
