I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
