I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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