its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
