is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
NoShamevember. You game?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
