Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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