He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Randomize
