I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
