that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
